did you get engaged???
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
