He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
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they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
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