So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
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