escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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