The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Randomize
