He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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