Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
