My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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