He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize