Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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