oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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