i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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