dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
