Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
