Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
is that a dick in a sweater?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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