Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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