New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
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