If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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