Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
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with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize