my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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