you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
