at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Never underestimate the power of titties
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
