Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
