you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
