I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
