so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
