I puked a lego.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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