In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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