kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
