Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
