Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
