Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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