Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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