he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
