Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
