So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
