i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
