Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
