Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
