What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
