Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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