Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
