what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize