5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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