Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Bring me that man meat
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
