omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
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I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
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They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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