i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
