Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize