idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize