her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize
