then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
