I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
