Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
