Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize