we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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