When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
